A Warriors Christmas!
by ThreeInOne
Summary: It's Christmas time in the Warriors World, but Tigerstar is out to ruin it for everyone! Meanwhile Thornclaw is pranking, Lionblaze is complaining, and Ivypaw teaches everyone the true meaning of Christmas.
1. I: Never argue with Thornclaw

**((This is my Warriors Christmas special! Be prepared for songs, including an original song that I wrote, sung by Lionblaze! Stay tuned!))**

'_Twas the night before Christmas_

_And all through ThunderClan_

_Not a creature was stirring_

_Especially a mouse_

A mouse scurried into the ThunderClan camp, looking about curiously at the star topping the tree, which was decorated luxuriously.

"How did I get put into this?" Longtail muttered from his perch, clinging for his dead-life atop the Christmas tree.

_Oh, well, I guess one mouse got in._

Suddenly, Thornclaw lept atop the mouse, killing it with a single bite to the throat.

_Yeesh. That's a gruesome way to go._

Thornclaw looked up. "No, snorting fire ants is a gruesome way to go," He chatted to the narrator.

_Stop watching a 1000 Ways to Die! Now where was I? Oh, yes, I was after the mouse._

"But if you continue from here, it won't make sense to the reader when Tigerstar comes in," Thornclaw continued. "Try starting from the beginning."

_Hey, what have we said about breaking the fourth wall?_

"I didn't start it," Thornclaw sniffed.

_Well I didn't._

"Avatar,"

_Oh fine. I'll start from the beginning._

Introducing…

A WARRIORS CHRISTMAS!


	2. II: Dovepaw is clueless as usual

**((Just to warn you: I am very spiritual and this isn't the last time my religion will be mentioned. Don't like, don't read.))**

It was Christmas Eve in ThunderClan, and all the cats were scuttling about, trying to do some last minute preparations before the big day.

"No no no!" Sorreltail, who was in charge of decorations, snapped at Dovepaw and Ivypaw, who were taping snowflake decorations over the apprentice's den. "The snowflakes go above the warrior's den, the stars above the apprentice's den. Get to it!"

"Geez, she's grumpy," Ivypaw muttered, as she tore down the white construction paper snowflakes.

"Oh liven up, Ivy, it's Christmas!" Dovepaw cheered. "It's a time to celebrate, after all."

"Yeah right," Ivypaw replied. "Christmas just seems like a commercial holiday now a days. When will everyone get back to the real reason we celebrate Christmas?"

"To get presents?" Dovepaw guessed.

"No,"

"To sing carols?"

"No,"

"To celebrate Santa?"

"No. To celebrate the birth of Christ," Ivypaw said.

Dovepaw blinked. "Who?"

"You don't read Twoleg, do you?" Ivypaw asked.

"Nope."

"Christ is the saviour and messiah," Ivypaw explained. "He rose from the dead to forgive our sins."

"Where'd you learn all this?" Dovepaw sounded amazed.

"At church,"

Dovepaw blinked again. "Where?"

"A place to worship God," Ivypaw sighed. "I go there every Sunday."

"Oh yeah. I noticed you disappeared every Sunday," she thought a second, as if realizing something. "Who's God?"

Ivypaw face palmed. "It's gonna be a long day," she groaned.


	3. III: Firestar got run over by a reindeer

Meanwhile, Thornclaw was listening to Christmas music on his pink iPawd. He strolled around camp humming, and a brilliant thought came to mind.

"_Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the way,_" he sang all throughout camp. "_Oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh. Hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride on a one-horse open sleigh!_"

"Shut up!" Mousefur shouted from the elder's den. A snowball socked her in the back, while Foxleap and Toadstep, standing a bit away, held their hands behind their backs, whistling conspicuously.

"I'll get you for that!" she shook her cane at them, and retreated inside the elder's den. She returned with a tennis ball launcher, which she loaded up with snowballs.

"Fire in the hole!" she cackled evilly, as dozens of snowballs were fired at Foxleap and Toadstep, who swerved to avoid them, and ran off pelted with snow.

"_Deck the camp with balls of holly,_" Thornclaw belted out, passing by Sorreltail.

"Hmm," Sorreltail thought. "Good idea. Jayfeather!"

"What?" Jayfeather came out of his den, hiding the deathberry pie he would give to Willowshine behind his back. "I'm not making a deathberry pie to kill Willowshine! I mean, uh, what do you need?"

Sorreltail stared blankly, deciding to ignore the last comment; the less she knew, the better. "We need holly berries. Can you get some?"

"Sure," Jayfeather tucked the pie into his den, and darted out into the forest.

"_Falalalalalalala,_" Thornclaw continued. "_Tis the season to be jolly, falalalalalalala. Don we now, our furry apparel, falalalalalalalala. Troll the ancient StarClan carol, falalalalalalalala!_"

"Thornclaw, please!" Firestar covered his ears, phone in hand. "Can you stop singing? I need to order a star." He put the phone to his ear. "Yes, StarClan TreeToppers, Inc.? I need a star for our tree. …Yes, yes, I'd prefer it to be ThunderClan, someone new…Longtail? He sounds fantastic. How long 'till arrival? …2 hours? 'Kay, bye."

Thornclaw suddenly got an idea. He beckoned to Cloudtail, who was passing nearby, and whispered in his ear. Cloudtail got a wicked smile, and nodded.

He ran to the front of camp, and took a microphone from the stash of party equipment, with a stereo and speakers.

"Hello?" he spoke into the mike, after getting the speakers hooked up. "Is this thing on? Testing, one two three." Every cat looked up. "Thank you. In the spirit of the holidays, I'd like to sing a song. Hit it, Thorn."

Thornclaw pressed the start on the stereo, and the music started.

Cloudtail: _Firestar got run over by a reindeer_

_Walking home from the Moonpool, Christmas Eve_

_You can say there is such thing as StarClan_

_But as for me and Mothwing, we don't believe_

_He'd been drinking too much pool water_

_And StarClan begged him not to go_

_But his show was on on Tv_

_And he stumbled past the pool into the snow_

_When WindClan found him Christmas morning_

_At the scene of the attack_

_He had hoof prints on his forehead_

_And incriminating sleigh marks on his back_

_Firestar got run over by a reindeer_

_Walking home from the Moonpool, Christmas Eve_

_You can say there is such thing as StarClan_

_But as for me and Mothwing, we don't believe_

"Ahem?" Firestar stood near Cloudtail, glaring.

"Hehe," Cloudtail met his glare for a minute, then ran for the WindClan hills to avoid the wrath of Firestar.


	4. IIII: Feathertail knows too much

**((I don't own LTW or any quotes mentioned therefore, or Power Rangers Samurai))**

Meanwhile, in StarClan:

"I feel so stupid," Longtail grumbled. He was dressed in a star costume.

"You were chosen this year, Longtail, so shut your yapping," Yellowfang was helping him into his costume. "It's a big honor, believe me. I got the job one year, around the middle of TNP, in between Midnight and Moonrise. And it's only for one night, so you'll love it.

_Hey! Stop breaking the fourth wall!_

"You started it!" Yellowfang reminded her.

"Yellowfang! Bluestar! Council!" Swiftpaw ran in, tripping and sprawling flat on his face. Longtail burst out laughing.

"It's not fun-" Swiftpaw, having stood back up, noticed Longtail's get up. "-ny?" he suddenly burst into laughter.

"It's not funny!" Longtail protested.

"The Dark Forest it isn't!" Swiftpaw continued laughing, not noticing the entire whole of StarClan had fallen silent.

"He said the name of The-Place-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named!" An extra yowled. "He must be punished! Shame him!"

All cats turned away from Swiftpaw, ignoring him.

"But I have news!" he tried to meow. No one listened.

"Listen!" he insisted. Again, no one heard.

"HEEEY!" he snapped loudly, causing the spirits of birds to be scared out of the trees, cawing loudly.

~~~On Earth:~~~

Dovepaw looked up toward the sky at the loud booming cry.

"Dovepaw, get back to work!" Sorreltail snapped.

"Okay,"

~~~StarClan~~~

"The Dark Forest is planning to ruin Christmas!" Swiftpaw warned. "I overheard Darkstripe muttering about it in his sleep! He's plotting!"

"Le gasp!" Bluestar exclaimed. "We must stop him! Together, StarClan cats forever!"

Yellowfang face palmed. "You seriously need to stop watching Power Rangers Samurai," she meowed.

Bluestar did an awesome karate move, and turned back to Swiftpaw. "We must do something about it! He must not ruin the one time of the year that StarClan can actually come down to Earth and party!"

"But we have parties up here all the time," Feathertail remarked. "What's the difference?"

"StarClan's cooler," Bluestar explained. "But seriously, he must not succeed!"

"But wait a minute," Feathertail was persistent. "We're just fictional cats who don't even believe in the same religion. Why do we celebrate Christmas? How do we even know what Christmas is? We can't read or write Twoleg, because we don't have opposable thumbs."

Bluestar stared blankly at her, before screaming, "SHE KNOWS TOO MUCH! OAKHEART, THE PAN!"

Feathertail was hit in the back of the head with a frying pan, and passed out.

"Now that that's settled," Bluestar continued, once Oakheart had dragged Feathertail off to tie her up in a dark closet. "We'll need someone to spy on them. Swiftpaw, I nominate you."

"W-Why me?" Swiftpaw asked.

"Because you're expendable," Bluestar pushed him to the Dark Forest border. "Now go!"


	5. V: I Really Don't Hate Christmas

**((I do not own Phineas and Ferb's I Really Don't Hate Christmas or Achmed The Dead Terrorist's Jingle Bombs.))**

~~~Dark Forest~~~

Tigerstar, Darkstripe, Brokenstar, Scourge (even though he isn't in the Dark Forest), Hawkfrost, Mapleshade, and Clawface were gathered around a circular meeting table.

"This meeting of the Totally Evil Cats of the Dark Forest That Actually Matter Club will now come to order," Tigerstar banged a gavel on the table.

"I say our first order is to shorten the name," Mapleshade grumbled. "It's too long. And TECDFTAMC doesn't make sense."

"Appeal denied," Tigerstar deadpanned for the thousandth time. "Our first order of business is to destroy Christmas!" He laughed evilly, lightning searing down behind him.

"Seriously, how do you do that?" Brokenstar muttered.

"I'm lost," Scourge admitted. "I thought you liked Christmas. Why should we destroy it?"

Tigerstar visibly drooped at this. "That's my problem: I really don't hate Christmas. I've never had a problem with it. It wasn't good, it wasn't terrible." He sighed. "You know, I think this is better expressed in song form." He pressed a button on the table, and music started.

Tigerstar: _You see Valentine's is torture, and my birthday is a mess,_

_New Year's is a lot of noise, and Arbor Day's a pest!_

_Halloween's a horror but I guess I must confess_

_That I really don't hate Christmas! _

_You see Flag Day is infernal,_

_ April Fool's is just a bore,_

_Mardi Gras a waste, unless you own a candy store,_

_All these other holidays I can admit that I abhor,_

_B__ut I really don't hate Christmas. _

_Now, it isn't that I like it, at the most I feel ambivalence,_

_But should I really just destroy it?_

_ I'll admit that I'm still on the fence,_

_It makes me tense! _

_From the evil scientists' community I'm sure to get ejected,_

_But for Christmas I can't seem to summon any true invective,_

_Because what is there to hate? I mean, it's really so subjective,_

_ I really don't hate Christmas. _

_I hate puppy dogs and kittens, I hate flowers in the spring,_

_Heck, I even hate the sunshine and the birdies when they sing,_

_I can work up animosity for almost anything_

_Tell me why I don't hate Christmas. _

_Though my childhood was atrocious, Christmas never was that bad, you see,_

_So the most that I can muster is complete and total apathy_

_What's wrong with me? _

_How can I prove that I'm an evil villain worth his salt_

_When with a holiday so jolly I can't even find a fault?_

_I__f I didn't feel ambiguous I'd launch a big assault_

_But I really don't hate Christmas. _

Tigerstar stood there for a minute before blurting out, "Oh, what the heck! Kickline!"

Thistleclaw, Antpelt, Hawkheart, Maggottail, Shredtail, Snowtuft, Silverhawk, and Sparrowfeather ran out to form a kickline.

Tigerstar: _No, I really..._

_No, I really don't hate Christmas! _

"I have an intense, BURNING indifference!" he corrected, before taking his seat as the music stopped. "So, any ideas for destroying Christmas?"

"We blow it up!" Clawface yelled out, a mad tint in his eyes. Everyone groaned.

"Clawface, we are _not _blowing it up," Tigerstar told him.

"He says that about everything," Hawkfrost groaned. "Last week he suggested blowing up the toliet because it wouldn't flush. I almost didn't defuse the bomb he put in it in time."

"Well, he was a terrorist before," Brokenstar shrugged.

"He was? That would explain a lot,"

"It was before the series," Brokenstar explained. "It's also how he died."

"How did he die?" Hawkfrost asked.

Brokenstar stared. "He was a suicide bomber. Figure it out."

Clawface started to giggle wildly. "We blow everything up," he cackled, his eyes glazed over.

"Oh no," Mapleshade shuddered. "Here comes the song."

Clawface stood up, and started to sing.

Clawface: _Dashing through the sand_

_With a bomb strapped to my back_

_I have a nasty plan_

_For Christmas in Iraq_

_I got through checkpoint A_

_But not through checkpoint B_

_That's when I got shot in the ass by the U.S. military_

_Ooo, Jingle bombs, jingle bombs mine blew up you see_

_Where are all the virgins that Bin Laden promised me_

_Jingle bombs, jingle bombs your soldiers shot me dead_

_The only thing that I have left is this towel upon my head_

"That's nice, Clawface," Tigerstar tried to interrupt, but the tom wasn't finished yet.

Clawface: _I used to be a __man, but every time I cough_

_Thanks to uncle Sam my nuts keep falling off_

_My bombing days are done, I need to find some work_

_Perhaps it would be much safer as a convenient store night clerk, _

_Ooo, Jingle bombs, jingle bombs I think I got screwed_

_Don't laugh at me because I'm dead or I keel you_

Done with his song, Clawface sat back down.

"Wait a minute!" Tigerstar snapped his fingers (which is technically impossible because cats don't have fingers. Not that you care). "Clawface gave me an idea!"

"He did?" Hawkfrost sounded astonished.

"That must've been some song," Brokenstar meowed.

"Here's what we're going to do," Tigerstar whispered his maniacal plan in everyone's ear.

"Ooh, that's evil, Dad," Hawkfrost grinned. "I like it."

"Suck up," Scourge murmured.

"Let's get to it then!" Tigerstar stood up, before thinking. "Wait, do you think this is one of those plans that will horribly backfire on us?" He thought some more. "Nah!"


	6. VI: I've Got a Gift

**((Lionblaze's song in this is my original song. I suck at songwriting, as is evident, so bear with me. The song goes to the tune of "I've Got a Dream" from the Disney movie 'Tangled'.))**

~~~Earth~~~

Jayfeather came running into camp, holding Hollyleaf.

"Jayfeather!" Hollyleaf struggled. "Put me down!"

"Jayfeather," Sorreltail sighed, exasperated. "I said to get _holly leaves_, not _Hollyleaf. _Get it right this time."

"Where'd you even find her?" Lionblaze asked.

Jayfeather shrugged. "Dunno." He ran back into the forest, still carrying Hollyleaf.

Cinderheart came up past Lionblaze, taping tinsel above the nursery. Lionblaze approached her.

"Hey Cinderheart," He muttered shyly.

"Hi Lionblaze," Cinderheart didn't turn to face him.

"Oh, look," He gestured to the herb hanging from the den entrance above them. "Mistletoe. You know what that means, don't you?" He winked slyly.

"Uh, I think I hear Sorreltail calling. Gotta go," Cinderheart ran off.

"Oh," Lionblaze deflated. "Right."

"Hey Lionblaze," Thornclaw came up to him, noticing his sad look. "Oh man, you look like you just learned your dog was eaten by a rabid polar bear that escaped from a zoo and terrorized Anchorage, AK while Stephan King wrote a novel about it, only replacing the polar bear with the dog, and twisting it so it was nothing like the original event, and then after learning it the Christmas turkey got loose, and burned down the house with firecrackers, and you were forced to live in the Canadian wilderness with nothing but a spork, your mother, and matches, but your mother killed a man and ate him and turned into a Wendigo and terrorized you before the Hulk killed her and you were killed in the resulting fire between the US and Canadian military and the Hulk, and then you were brought back to life but found out you were an android in the future and were sent back in time to protect a guy who would eventually save the world. That bad huh?"

Lionblaze stared at Thornclaw as though he were insane (which he is). "It's just…I told Cinderheart about a big secret, and now she won't talk to me anymore because of it. And I love her, but she insists we can't be mates because of it."

"Oh, you mean the prophecy?" Thornclaw asked.

Lionblaze gasped. "You know about that? How?"

"Firestar posted it to Facebook," Thornclaw simply replied. "Well why don't you tell her you love her? If she truly loves you, she'll accept you, no matter what."

"I guess so," Lionblaze sighed. "If only I didn't have these stupid powers. Then it would be easier."

Lionblaze: _I've got a power like no other_

_Not your aunt, your sis, or brother_

_And I'm not saying that you're the one to blame_

_Yes, it's useless and it's worthless_

_Serves no direct purpose_

_And it brings to me great shame_

_I've got a gift _

Thornclaw: _He's got a gift._

Lionblaze: _I've got a gift_

Thornclaw: _He's got a gift_

Lionblaze: _To someone else I really wish it would shift_

_Of all the cats, far and wide_

_With potentiality inside_

_Why did it have to come to me?_

_My power is quite funny_

_And it brings to me no money_

_It's very useless to have_

_I would tell of it many others_

_My leader, apprentice or mother_

_But I know that seeing it, they would laugh_

_I've got a gift _

Thornclaw: _He's got a gift_

Lionblaze: _I've got a gift _

Thornclaw: _He's got a gift_

Lionblaze: _To someone else I really wish it would shift_

_Of all the cats, far and wide_

_With potentiality inside_

_Why did it have to come to me?_


	7. VII: Poppyfrost's death and revenge plan

Jayfeather ran into camp holding his stick, soaking wet. "I got it!" He announced. "I got it!"

Sorreltail nearly face palmed. "Jayfeather, that's a stick! I said to get holly leaves, not a stick!" She took it from him, and effortlessly tossed it into the lake.

"No!" Jayfeather screeched to the heavens. "Sticky! Why?"

"Hey, Jayfeather, did you make this?" Poppyfrost came up, eating the death berry pie. "It's really good. You're a good-" Gagging, she suddenly collapsed, suddenly dying.

"Poppyfrost!" Berrynose screeched, running to his mate. "Oh, cruel fate, why? To steal my fake mate and my true love? Why must you vex me? Why?" He collapsed, sobbing.

"What?" Poppyfrost gasped.

"Poppyfrost, my love," Berrynose bent low to her. "If you are dying, I must tell you something."

"Yes, my love?" Poppyfrost grabbed his paw.

"My true love is Honeyfern," He admitted. "You were just her replacement."

Poppyfrost shuddered her last breath.

"What?" Poppyfrost screamed in rage as her spirit floated up to StarClan. "Why that no good-I'll kill him! I'll kill him!"

"Poppyfrost!" Honeyfern ran up to her sister. "I heard that! That little fox heart!"

"I'll kill him!" Poppyfrost raved, foaming at the mouth.

"I'll join you!" Honeyfern had a mad gleam in her eyes. "He'll pay!"

Both sisters ran off to plan.


	8. VIII: Jayfeather's bad day

The day was steadily ending, and all of ThunderClan was decorated. Longtail was clinging to the top of the Christmas tree, trying not to fall off and onto his ectoplasmic butt.

"Here!" Jayfeather ran up, parts of his fur missing, looking like they'd been sheared off with a weedwhacker. He had leaves, pine needles, and mud clotted in his fur, and wore a pair of sunglasses on his forehead. He held a shotgun in one hand and holly leaves in the other. "Here are your holly leaves!"

"Whoa, what happened to you?" Sorreltail took the leaves, and pinned them all around the dens.

"Funny you should ask," Jayfeather brushed leaves off. "There were no leaves in ThunderClan, so I decided to ask Kestrelflight for some. He started ranting about tacos, and said that the taco fairy had stolen his holly leaves, but said that the Twolegs had some. I went all the way to Twolegplace, met Jingo, devised a plan, got these sunglasses that let me see for a brief time, stole the Twoleg's shotgun, stole the holly leaves, and got out. Then a giant dog chased me all the way to RiverClan, where Heavystep kept me hostage, claiming I was here to steal his collection of shiny Twoleg objects. I got away by diving into a deep puddle of mud and faking my death. Then I was heading back through when Willowshine ambushed me. Next thing I know I'm in a church and," he flashed a gold ring on his finger, "I'm officially married to her. I ran away screaming, and jumped into the lake to fake my death to her. Then I swam here, was kidnapped by Hollyleaf and kept hostage in the tunnels as revenge for earlier. I got away by chewing through the ropes while she and Sol were playing Texas Hold 'Em. In short," he finished. "I have had a long day. So take your stupid leaves and leave me the Dark Forest alone!" he marched off to his den.

"Wow," Sorreltail whistled.

"I can't believe tomorrow's Christmas!" Dovepaw squealed. "I totally want a new pink iPawd! And a PlayStation 3, 10 video games, a stuffed rabbit, and a remote control helicopter! What about you, Ivypaw?"

Ivypaw was too busy reading out of a brown covered book to notice.

"Ivypaw!" Dovepaw snapped into her sister's ear. Ivypaw jumped.

"What?" she snapped.

"What'cha reading?" Dovepaw asked.

"The Bible," Ivypaw displayed the cover. "Now leave me be."

"Oh," Dovepaw scooted closer. "Can I read too?"

"You can't read, Dovepaw," Ivypaw pointed out.

"Well then can you read to me?"

"Oh all right. I'll read to you a story about the birth of Jesus,"

"Was he a Twoleg or a cat?" Dovepaw asked.

"A Twoleg?"

"What did he look like?"

"Well, no one really knows, Dovepaw," Ivypaw answered. "No one back then is still alive anymore."

"How did he walk on water or heal the blind? What other things could he do? Wait, do you think he could heal Jayfeather's blindness? That would make him really happy, I bet. Maybe then he wouldn't be so grumpy anymore. Wait, if he's the son of God, why's he called the Son of Man? What does Alpha and Omega mean? How many books are in the Bible? Who wrote the Bible? Was it one person or a lot of people? Did Jesus write some of it? If he wrote some of it, would it be a biography or an autobiography?"

Ivypaw sighed. "It's gonna be a _long _night,"


	9. IX: The Dark Forest Strikes Back

_There, are you happy? Our flashback of all that happened is out of the way._

Thornclaw nodded. "Wait, is Ivypaw gonna do that big speech like Linus did in that Peanuts Christmas special?"

_Well, how should I know?_

"You're the author,"

_N-No I'm not. Why ever would you think that?_

"Because I can see you," Thornclaw remarked dryly. "You're at the computer desk in a gray-blue shirt, typing with cold fingers, at 8:19 at night, just before a big field trip tomorrow."

_Er, quiet you! Now where was I? Oh yeah. _

_The stockings were hung by the HighLedge with care_

_In hopes that St. Whitestorm soon would be there_

_The kits were nestled all snug in their dens_

_While visions of candied mice danced in their heads_

_And Sandstorm in her 'kerchief-_

"What's a 'kerchief?" Thornclaw scratched his head.

…_Like I know. Quiet!_

_And Sandstorm in her 'kerchief and Firestar in his cap_

_Had just settled down for a long leafbare's nap_

_When out on the clearing there arose such a clatter_

_Firestar sprang from his bed to see what was the matter_

Unbeknownst to the Clan cats, Tigerstar, wearing red, a beard, and dyed white, was sneaking into camp, followed by Scourge, Hawkfrost, and Brokenstar, Scourge dressed like Rudolph, the other two like elves.

"This'll never work," Scourge whispered. "We're too conspicuous. We'll be spotted in a second."

Just then Firestar dashed out onto the Highledge. All four Dark Forest cats ducked under it. Firestar looked about, before shrugging and going to bed.

"See?" Tigerstar said. "It works. You ready, Clawface?"

Clawface thumbs-upped. He had planted C-4, sticks of dynamite, gasoline, kerosene, coal, matches, lighter fluid, bombs, and gunpowder stacked under the tree in a pile, and had smothered the entire tree in gasoline, kerosene, and lighter fluid. He held a long distance flamethrower.

"3...2...1...Light 'er up!" Tigerstar shouted. Clawface switched on his flamethrower.

_**BOOOOOOOOMMMMM!**_

Ravenpaw was startled awake by a loud noise, as was Leafstar, Jingo, and Stoneteller. They all quickly drifted back to sleep.

The tree had been completely demolished, half of its skinny frame left, the few branches it had on fire, and the remains of the ornaments falling from the sky like shrapnel.

"Yes!" Tigerstar pumped his fist. "It worked! Looks like explosions do help!"

Clawface, who had been closest to the tree, had had all of the fur on his stomach, face, chest, and sides completely burned off, some of his skin charred, and several third-degree burns dotting his skin. He cackled.

"How did no one wake up from that?" Scourge looked around.

"Oh, I sedated everyone before we came here," Tigerstar explained. "Planted it in the mice. Now let's destroy everything."

Scourge tore down tinsel, Hawkfrost ripped apart decorations, Brokenstar stole the candy, and Clawface set the ground on fire. Tigerstar was about to take a chainsaw to the remains of the tree, when a small voice stopped him.

"Santa?" he turned. Cherrykit stood there, a toy rabbit in one hand, watching curiously.

"Why did you blowey-up our Christmas tree?"

Tigerstar tried to think up a lie, and reflected back on the Grinch. Sweetly he said, "Why, my dear, you see, there's a light on this tree that won't light, and I fixed it, see?"

"How did blowing it up help anything?" Cherrykit asked. "It's just a little light. Wouldn't blowing it up make it worse?"

Tigerstar scowled. "Listen kid," he bent down low in her face, then snarled, "I AIN'T SANTA! NOW BEAT IT!"

Cherrykit, screaming, fled back to the nursery.

"Mission a success boys!" Tigerstar crowed. "Let's blow this pop stand!"

The four Dark Forest cats fled.


	10. X: The Real Reason for Christmas

~~~Christmas Day~~~

Everyone woke up excitedly on Christmas day, rushing outside to get their presents. However, they all found that the tree had been blown to smithereens and all the presents demolished. A note lay there, reading, "Booyah! Try having Christmas now, suckers!-TS and the Dark Forest Gang."

"How could he do this?"

"Did Santa even come?"

"Where's all the presents?"

"Christmas is ruined!"

"People, people!" Ivypaw shouted. She paused, realizing the irony, before yelling, "Cats, cats! You're missing the point! Christmas isn't about giving gifts or singing songs or Santa Claws!"

"Oh yeah, then what is it about?" a cat yowled.

"I'll tell you," Ivypaw pulled out her Bible, and turned to Luke 2, and started reading.

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

Ivypaw closed the Bible, and smiled. "See? Christmas isn't about any of that silly commercial stuff; it's about celebrating the birth of Jesus, who died on the cross to forgive our sins."

Ivypaw, without music, began to sing, joined by the other cats of ThunderClan.

"_Hark! The Herald Angels sing_

_Glory to the newborn King_

_Peace on earth, and mercy mild_

_God and Sinners reconciled_

_Joyful, all ye nations rise! _

_Join the triumph of the skies_

_With the angelic host proclaim:_

_Christ is born in Bethlehem_

_Hark! The herald angels sing_

_Glory to the newborn King!"_

**THE END!**


	11. Extra: Poppyfrost's Revenge

The Next Night:

Berrynose woke up, stumbling out to the dirt place, only to realize that Poppyfrost and Honeyfern had appeared near him in spirit form, both grinning evilly.

"P-Poppyfrost?" he stuttered. "Honeyfern? You're both alive! It's a miracle!"

Shortly after he said this, his screams echoed through the camp.

The entire whole of ThunderClan woke up the next morning to find Berrynose suspended by a wire from the HighLedge, painted hot pink and purple, wearing a tutu and fairy wings, with a wand superglued to his hand and a taco hat on. A sign on him read, "The Taco Fairy!"

"NYA!" A scream came from out of camp as everyone was laughing. Kestrelflight popped in like those ninjas on Bleach, only with smoke. He started choking on the smoke and coughing.

"The Taco Fairy?" he gasped, seeing Berrynose. "Could it be true? IT IS!" He rushed forward and squeezed Berrynose in a bone crushing hug. "OMG! I'M LIKE YOUR BIGGEST FAN! YOU HAVE TO COME MEET ONESTAR! THEN YOU CAN MAKE YOUR SPARKILICIOUS TACOS FOR THE WHOLE CLAN!"

Kestrelflight ran off with Berrynose faster than anyone could register. In StarClan above Poppyfrost and Honeyfern were bursting out laughing.

"What do you think he'll do when he finds out he's not the Taco Fairy?" Honeyfern asked.

Poppyfrost held up a black wig and a bucket of white paint. "Thornclaw is a huge Michael Jackson fan," she snickered.

The two ran off to get tacos.

**((I just couldn't end it with a loose thread. Lionblaze's love crisis will hopefully be fixed in the actual books, so...this is Three-In-One signing out. Peace!))**


End file.
